Nun Tells Hilarious Story To Her Mother Superior About Why She Cursed On The Golf Course

It doesn’t matter how decent a person you are, there are just going to be those occasions in life when you may say a word that you letter regret saying in the heat of a stressful moment. For a lot of folks with excellent self-discipline, they may only say the word in their head while expressing their displeasure with another sound or gesture. I once worked with a guy who substituted curse words with G-rated replacements such as “monkey fudger” and “son of a bear”. Now, of course, our good co-worker wasn’t really fooling anyone, but we all enjoyed watching his tortured expressions as he uttered the most inventive sanitized substitutes. One group of people that must have it really hard sometimes are religious figures. People often hold them to a much higher standard, which makes why they must always be on guard against unbecoming behavior. The nun in this fictional story went to her Mother Superior’s office to tell her about a recent experience on greens that made her curse out loud. A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. ‘What troubles you, Sister?’ asked the Mother Superior. ‘I thought this was the day you spent with your family.’ ‘It was,’ sighed the Sister. ‘And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.’ ‘I seem to recall that,’ the Mother Superior agreed. ‘So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?’ ‘Far from it,’ snorted the Sister. ‘In fact, I even took the Lord’s name in vain today!’ ‘Goodness, Sister!’ gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. ‘You must tell me all about it!’ ‘Well, we were on the fifth tee… and this hole is a monster, Mother – 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green… and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted… and it hits a bird in mid-flight !’ ‘Oh my!’ commiserated the Mother. ‘How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!’ ‘No, that wasn’t it,’ admitted Sister. ‘While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!’ ‘Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!’ sympathized the Mother. ‘But I didn’t, Mother!’ sobbed the Sister. ‘And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!’ ‘So that’s when you cursed,’ said the Mother with a knowing smile. ‘Nope, that wasn’t it either,’ cried the Sister, anguished, ‘because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!’ Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said… ‘You missed the fu*#ing putt, didn’t you?’