You always told me I didn’t look good with long hair, and that you preferred girls with short hair, so I kept my hair cut above my shoulders at all times. You laughed at me and told me I looked ridiculous when I dyed my hair red when we were together. So a week later, I dyed it back blonde.
You would always point out if I was wearing too much makeup. (Winged eyeliner and mascara most of the time)
So I just stopped wearing it.
You told me tattoos and piercings were tacky and ugly and would try to take out my belly button ring every time you saw it.
So I took out my piercings and didn’t get any more tattoos.
You pointed out my stretch marks every chance you got. So I did my best to keep them hidden.
You pointed out every time I looked like I had gained weight. So I started eating less every day.
You pointed out every single flaw I had. So I lost every bit of confidence I had.
I did everything I could to be what you wanted. I did everything you told me to do. It still wasn’t good enough. You left me for a younger prettier girl. Someone you could mold and shape into what you wanted. Like you tried to do with me. And up until a few months ago, I blamed myself for everything that happened. You blamed me too.
But finally, I started to see the truth. You weren’t out of my league. I was out of yours. I wasn’t the one who wasn’t good enough for you. You were the one who wasn’t good enough for me. You couldn’t accept me for who I was. When I took you the way you were.
So now here I am a few months later. My hair is past my shoulders. My hair is bright red. I’ve got a new tattoo. New piercings. Started wearing makeup again. I eat whatever I want whenever I want and weigh 135 pounds. I still have my stretch marks.
And I’ve finally gotten my confidence back. I finally see myself looking back at me when I look in the mirror.
It’s so hard for me to come out about this and admit that I became so vulnerable because of one guy. Something I always said would never happen. It’s humiliating to even think about how low I got. But what gives me the guts to come out about this is the fact that I overcame it and I’m finally back to who I really am. – Feeling free.
Sometimes you need someone to tear you down so you can build yourself up bigger, better, and more beautiful than ever.