Grandma Sends Her Daughter A Huge Bill After Her Granddaughter’s Visit

Ask any parent, and they’ll tell you that having good grandparents in their children’s life is a blessing. Grandparents help us with our kids and never ask us for anything in return. For most grandparents, the joy of visiting with their grandchildren is rewarding enough. In fact, they actually have the reputation of spoiling their grandchildren with treats, gifts, and affection. Whenever a child’s going to their grandparents, they know that they are in for a vacation where they can enjoy a much more relaxed environment than they’re used to at home or at school. This relationship is priceless — or so we always thought.

One Grandma sent her daughter an enormous invoice after she babysat her granddaughter. The mom sought advice via the Ask Amy Column after she received a shocking bill of expenses from her own mother following her daughter’s visit to grandma’s house. The woman wrote the letter using the title “Burned by Grandma” saying:

“I sent a cheque for $300 to my mother to cover my daughter’s expenses during her visit.”

“Upon my daughter’s return, my mother sent me an invoice for $475.50 for additional expenses, including the cost of gas to and from the airport to transport her (45 minutes away), train tickets to go to the city to a museum and the cost of the museum admission.”

In the letter, the mom continues to explain how she was hurt and angry over her mother’s actions.

She said that she was even considering severing ties between her mom and her daughter, stating that the incident was costly, both “financially and emotionally.” She mentioned that those excursions were the grandmother’s choices, not hers, and $475 is far too much money for “extras.”

The daughter paid her mom what she believed was a reasonable expense for her child’s visit to grandmas. But it felt like her mom had doubled it.

The woman also mentioned that when her mom was living with them for four months, they paid all of her expenses. Part of her family’s costs even included a fancy vacation. But now she felt that she had been too generous and that her mom was taking advantage of her.

The woman also explained that her mom is a single, retired college professor.

“My mother is a single woman (a retired college professor), and we have never asked her to pay for anything.”

She added:

“Now I feel she has taken advantage of my generosity, and I don’t trust her to spend time with my daughter because it is just too costly for me (financially and emotionally)”

Of course, this doesn’t seem to add up, because if she was a retired college professor, then she should be living a pretty comfortable life. Nonetheless, it’s still rather unusual for grandparents to request that their children pay for their grandchildren’s visits.

Ask Amy replied to the letter saying that it would help if she also expressed her concerns with the grandmother directly.

Ask, Amy said:

“Is your mother financially insecure? Is she worried about maintaining her own lifestyle in retirement? These are legitimate concerns.”

“But is there a legitimate reason she couldn’t stay within the reasonable $300 budget, spending over twice that amount?”

Ask Amy also suggested that maybe there was more to the grandma’s meaning when she sent such a large invoice.

“Is this itemized bill her passive-aggressive way of telling you that she doesn’t actually want to host your daughter for such a long visit?”

Ask Amy also advised that the distraught daughter makes a difficult decision about the future of the “costly relationship,” advising that she needs to figure out if maintaining such a grandma-granddaughter relationship is worth it in the end.

Ask Amy wrote:

“Because your mother seems to communicate through monetizing relationships, you’ll simply have to decide whether this relationship between grandmother and granddaughter is one you can afford to foster.”