For many parents, especially those with lots of kids, a messy home is just a normal part of life. However, it can still make them feel uncomfortable when strangers judge how they live. For example, when in-laws come over to visit and see the home as a “wreck”, this can add to a lot of family drama as people who don’t know what struggling parents deal with day after day pass judgment.
And in many ways, it’s even worse on the internet as many have no idea what it’s like raising kids chiming in to criticize struggling parents doing the best they can.
These shamers derive their satisfaction from holding themselves superior to those they judge while discounting the very humanity of the targets of their critiques.
It’s a sad state of affairs, but that’s just the way it is sometimes.
Recently a mother of four shared a video illustrating what her home looks like when she takes just four days off from cleaning.
On February 25, Bri Jame uploaded a video showing her hose after her four children had four days to do their worse.
As Bri puts it:
“This is what happens when two really lazy adults have four kids and don’t clean up after themselves.”
While she did anticipate receiving criticism for the condition of her home, she made the video to motivate herself to overcome her laziness and buckle down.
In her words:
“I have not done dishes or picked things up and this is what my house looks like.”
While she insisted her house wasn’t dirty, just messy, a tour of the home showed toys, clothes, and furniture pieces are thrown about everywhere with dishes piling up in the sink. It was clear she needed to begin cleaning immediately.
And as James anticipated, she began receiving lots of negative comments about the condition of her home, with many chastising her for allowing it to degrade so far.
As one commenter said, “That’s dirty. Just because there isn’t mold on the walls doesn’t mean it’s not.”
Others shared their experiences growing up in dirty homes and how it caused trauma, and how it was Bri’s responsibility as a parent always to keep a clean home.
Some argued that the kids could only be blamed for so much of the mess because they felt that allowing it to stay that way for so long sent the wrong message suggesting they didn’t have to clean up either.
That said, those parents in similar situations countered, arguing that kids can devastate a clean home in just a few hours.
And since many of the commentators had no idea regarding the details of Bri’s situation, these more supportive commentators felt there was not much value in the criticisms, especially when she was explicitly addressing the issues head-on.
In fact, the next four videos on Bri’s account show the mom in the process of cleaning her kitchens while her kids and neighbors periodically distract her.
It’s also worth noting that Bri’s daughter did help out and didn’t hinder her mom, proving she isn’t as negative as many thought.
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