When Eric insisted on paying for our first date, I thought I’d met a true gentleman. Roses, a thoughtful gift, great conversation—he was checking all the boxes. But the next morning, my stomach dropped when I saw his text.
### **The Setup**
My best friend, Mia, had been adamant about setting me up. *"He’s super nice, Kelly! Total gentleman. You’ll love him,"* she’d gushed.
I was skeptical. *"You’ve never played matchmaker before. How do you even know my type?"*
*"Because I know you better than anyone,"* she said. *"Plus, Chris vouches for him. They’ve been friends for years."*
That last part convinced me. Chris, Mia’s boyfriend, had solid judgment. If he approved, maybe Eric was worth a shot.
After a quick photo exchange (he *was* cute), I agreed to dinner at a nice Italian spot by the river.
### **The Perfect First Date... Or So I Thought**
I arrived early, nervously checking my reflection, when Eric walked up—holding *roses*. Not the gas station kind, but a professionally arranged bouquet tied with a ribbon.
*"These are for you,"* he said smoothly.
Before I could process that, he pulled out a small gift box. Inside? A silver keychain engraved with my initial.
*"Mia mentioned you’d like something personal,"* he explained.
I was floored. Flowers *and* a custom gift? Either this guy was *really* into first impressions… or he was setting a trap.
Dinner was lovely—great conversation, effortless chemistry. He paid without hesitation, insisting, *"A man covers the first date."* His tone left no room for debate.
When he hugged me goodbye (just the right amount of warmth), I thought, *This might actually go somewhere.*
### **The Morning After**
I woke up to a notification from Eric. Expecting a sweet *"Had a great time"* text, I opened it—and nearly choked on my coffee.
**"Date Night Invoice – Outstanding Balance"**
At first, I thought it was a joke. Then I read the itemized charges:
- **Rose Bouquet:** 1 hug
- **Custom Keychain:** 1 coffee date (scheduled within a week)
- **Opening Car Door:** 1 cute selfie together
- **Pulling Out Chair:** Holding hands on next date
- **Engaging Conversation:** 1 compliment on his appearance
- **Dinner + Tip Covered:** Mandatory second date
And at the bottom, in bold:
**"Payment expected in full. Failure to comply may result in collections (Chris will hear about it)."**
### **The Revenge Plot**
I immediately sent the screenshot to Mia. Her response? *"OH. MY. GOD. CHRIS IS GOING TO LOSE IT."*
Chris, ever the master of petty revenge, crafted a counter-invoice:
**"Service Invoice – Amount Due: A Lifetime of Silence"**
- **Introducing You to a Gorgeous Woman:** 1 permanent block
- **Convincing Her You Were a Gentleman:** Deep self-reflection on why you’re single
- **Not Exposing You to the Internet:** A favor you should be grateful for
Eric’s response? A flurry of defensive texts: *"I was setting expectations!"* *"Chris is a terrible friend!"* *"You just lost a GREAT guy!"*
I replied with a single 👍 and blocked him.
### **The Aftermath**
Mia apologized profusely, but I couldn’t even be mad. The story was too good. *"This is being told at every party for the next decade,"* she laughed.
As for the keychain? I kept it—not as a keepsake of Eric, but as a trophy from the most absurd date of my life.
**Moral of the story?** If a guy insists on paying, make sure he’s not keeping a ledger.
*(And maybe vet your friend’s matchmaking skills a little harder.)*
**The End.**
